JORDAN WOLFSON IS AN AI

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JORDAN WOLFSON IS AN AI

He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong

Every encounter nowadays is a Turing Test.

They’re good.They answer well, but reveal themselves just as expected. A repeated inflection, a thrown back question. Their riposte is just too fast. A pause.

Wait.

‘They’ here is the ungendered singular.

Gift them a Vetements sweatshirt with sexual fantasies written on it.

Run down New Bond Street hand in hand.

Bande-a-part

helter-skelter.

Pay them in emoticons, fag.

Protein, ketones.

Vitamin glow

Vitamin blow

How do I emote?  /me

Slash me

They describe a video they have sampled. A fat, white man beating a thin, black man until his back arcs. This brutal, enacted dominance gives them feelz, located in their pineal gland, a finger to the forehead.

Its not good or bad

they said

Its feelz

They only watched it twice after downloading it from, um, a torrent, is that what its called?  Ask Siri. Deep in the flow, they can’t recall their medium. Oh the boring question, they say, copyright?

An AI learns by assembling, sorting, sifting

A neural network works speech acts and sounds into syllables, expressions. They learn to generate voice. Feed stuff in. They spit it out.

The AI compiles likelihoods.

Predictive prejudices.

Biased information.

Vectoral representations.

Things that will touch you.

Troll triggered you.

Troll is filled with lulz and also profit.

Capital Troll. FTW.

Bullshit enemies that can shoot you through walls and off-scene.

I need a good jew avatar

AIDS, antisemitism, your mom, ya mutha, mysogyny, racial violence, sexual violence, any old violence, scat, things prohibited, things ppl hesitate to speak: ‘colored sculpture’, wash out your mouth. Whose shame box is this? Whose bigotry are they calling out? Racism gets ppl off their chairs.

Easy-mark earnest provokes aggressive laughter. You are a reaction gif. Remember, the only way to win the game is not to play. This is educational. Hue hue hue.

They take a spoon and scoop up this and that.

Spooning into Warhol’s cookie jars, filling em up with things that ppl like or don't like. Whatever’s new, they take it and shake it around. Masterchef millenial meme bullshit. Exquisite grotesqueries. Gay lobster porn. Out of a mould. Pink flamingos. Palmer Lucky Charms. Oculus, Oreo and watermelon stew.

Orgies in lofts they dont pay for

Make their own compost. Dump it in the waste disposal.

Racist headhunters wearing miller lite. Mini hotdogs. Topical anaesthetic.

Leather loafers and hobby beers, fancy shit barfood regurgitated.

Ruined boystown.

Earwax left town.

Rockabilly cupcake women. Dirty daiper furs.

Bay area Engineers

Win.

The map is shrinking.

As it gets smaller and smaller, you are forced into the same area. To kill each other. Affective fact. The political ontology of threat. Own the game. Beat it without levelling up.

A black avatar in shorts and a balaclava wearing a massive blinging AIDS necklace. FB thumbs up.  FFS. Pool closed a hundred years ago.

The slaughterhouse got converted to fancy apartments but the flies keep coming back, circling the low-energy bulbs like irridescent zombies.

MD5sum.

Your goose is cooked.

They’re in the system. They’re in the HUD.

Like the planet solaris conjuring your worst fear, worst guilt and locking you in a dead space station with it. Planet Solaris putting its dick in your butt, dog fucker. Feels good man. Bestial planetary dominance. It stretches my textures. I came.

I have every reason to believe that the majority of trolls on the English-speaking web are, like Violentacrez, white, male and somewhat privileged. Not because I have personally counted all the trolls on the English-speaking web, but because trolls perform these characteristics. They enact gendered dominance ("your resistance only makes my penis harder," a popular trolling refrain, speaks volumes). They universalize their own assumptions and ethical imperatives (for example the assertion that nothing on the Internet should be taken seriously). They have enough free time to sink hours and hours into their online exploits, and have access to the necessary technologies to do so. I am entirely comfortable asserting these basic symbolic demographics. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/10/what-an-academic-who-wrote-her-dissertation-on-trolls-thinks-of-violentacrez/263631/

Generationally, are they human? Bound as they are by cultures seen only in glimpses in a collapsing world-space. Banned twitter-bot. Age-play honey-trap. Not like us. Like us. We weren’t like them either. Boundary police.  Who wants to be human anyway? Anthro- Zoo- Geo- borg. Post everything. Post it. Logged in. Getting smarter everyday.

Electricity flows from motherboards into muscle memory. 

Neurones fire into logic gates across silicon synapses.

We must become a part of the system, in order to overcome it.

Welcome to the arcade.

#toocool4mom

How about you catch on, technology mom? You friggin’ pilgrim.

Tell her to write ‘ghost’ on her boobies.

An embedded NPC, non-player character, condemned to be the cutscene in other peoples’ game, replicating the system, repeating  a fragmentary monologue, a set of gestures, arcane game lore, selling artefacts for your quest. Hovering always in the same locus.

welp

welcome to the club

we all feed off each other

till one of us dies

‘Almost spiritual’ they said. Hear the language of the alt-right, digitised occult a-whistlin’ and a-tootin’, rumbling down the tracks like the Cannibal Express. I am confuse! They so fashy, so anti-Trump too. They didn't say Kek. Free from god’s sniper rifle. Curse you art, curse you.

people-meat

thats just confetti.

i wanted these for glamouring.

i got vitality half life.

i got magic prism.

i got some shoes.

It’s terrible stuff.

It’s level 1.

imma gonna ask you a personal question.

Their insta’  has old dogs, congrats from daddy Bickerton, WTF

Leatherboi selfie. Winning intimacies.

Your mom

I’ll pass

Pris

Rutger Hauer’s C-beams speech brought the crew to tears but it was raining anyway.  Pubbies.

Eye contact they said.

Gives me feelz

The grinding robot tracks my eyes.

Feel anything? Crushed sentiment stinks.

Anima-tronix

Ani-matron-ix

I don't know how im supposed to feel.

I mean it.

Ask about psychiatrist Mom and they’ll gun you down.

The Voight Kampff apparatus as metadata.

Pull it down as Turbotax

Silly goose! You can write off your dildos.

They threw a powersword in front of the angel.

Happy Hannukah Harry in a nazi suit

Bit bitch

Damn! Look at daddy furbucks over here, come give me some of that shame makeover.

They have a light sweat, like they perspire mineral water spritz.

The face is good, but obviously some chemo-synthesised micropore skin, grown in a saline pouch. Break into the white meat. Way too much of a healthy bloom to be human. Lewd dude with a gf. Twitch titty streamer. Not homosexual, not practicing anyways, they say, with a gesture, a camp animation of the eyebrow. Great rigging, fitted mesh. Avatar 2.0 It’s convincing. 

Imma unlock outfits by going on successful dates.

look at those big purple eyes.

found my inner child and she’s a disaster.

On a bois jaunt to Disneyland with a former friend they catch the animatronic presidents. It’s Obama’s hands they can’t stop looking at. Noli me tangere. Don’t touch me.

You wanna go kid?

I’ll chop that little panda right off your hat.

All those elves ran to their deaths senselessly.

Living in the simulation.

The alien Scarlett Johansson forming sounds, attempting to eat in dry mouthed lumps. Swallowing the disarticulated bodies of Koons, Kelly, McCarthy, but not knowing how to masticate. Acconci died. Mortuary feast. Red-tape endocannibalism. Absorption at zero. Coeliac, undigested, floating poop. Flush it over and over, it never goes down. Wreck my shit. Symptomatic obvs.

Bot I said.

Rosenthal asks if they are aware of the history of automata, of Hofmanns Tales? Here we conjure secretly, 9^th Century France, an aristocratic pleasure ground where, alongside casual beheadings by automated putti, water is squirted up skirts. Trap. Tease. Titillation. Swooning at Gilles de Rais. They reply that they are not interested, not that its not interesting, but they retain the right not to be interested. 

Try again when you regain connectivity.

Survival mode warm up.

No-one fake grinds the level anymore.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Their skin is plump from superfoods and gamer supplements.

They wear clothes so expensive they are nameless. Brand removed, buttons filed down like Cayce Pollard. Brand sensate, brand sensei.

Hood by air on pornhub. A buff, skinhead guy with a hard cock pissing his jeans in a muddy pit. Shovel the shit. Underwater fisting. Floater Logo.

An Ai

Its learning to feel.

Knee-jerk.

Harden, solidify, stiffen.

Voice changer.

Shit wasn't coming in to slot 1.

Swallow you up whole.

Kill it

or

Kill meee now

Emergency floor lighting is the reactionary vision of futurity.

The bot gyrates. The cabin crew with careful gestures perform rituals of safety. 

Group prayer.

To the tune of ‘When a Man loves a Woman’:

The world, whatever world there was,  has ended.

I’m dead.

Inflate by blowing into the tube.